Cruise Review: Navigator of the Seas August 07

Saturday 11th August 2007

An early start this morning as we head off to Southampton again! I thought it best to start out early as it was probably going to be busy as we were well into holiday season. Collected Mum and loaded up the car and we were away.

In just under 2 hours we were at the M3 and then for the next 45 minutes we just crawled along at a snails pace. I toyed with the idea of leaving the M3 and going down the A33 into Southampton, but somehow it just doesn’t feel right to arrive at Southampton and not drive along the front to see the ships. I had a bit of a sense of de ja vue as I drove over the first flyover, and then I realised that I really had been here only two weeks ago! The front road and flyovers were all clear so it was nice to see Artemis appear. But there she is, Navigator of the Seas. Wow, she looks big compared to Artemis.

Drove straight through dock gate 8 and to the baggage drop off area. A very nice man unloaded the car for us and then we drove around to the disabled car spaces right at the front of the car park. Now the tricky bit. How on earth do you get and 85 yr old in a wheelchair, two small wheelie cases, a laptop bag and a walking stick several hundred yards to the front of the building and check in area? Well, basically you struggle for a while until a nice fellow passenger offers you assistance. There that was much easier to push a wheelchair with both hands while someone else takes care of our hand luggage. Once we were at the terminal entrance the ground staff couldn’t have been more helpful. A wheelchair assistant took over and wheeled us straight through to check in. Then a crew member took over and wheeled mum onboard. A very swift and impressive service. We were onboard at 11.45am! But the staterooms weren’t ready yet and we were directed to the Windjammer for lunch. But then our wheelchair attendant/crew member played his trump card and opened the watertight doors for us and asked our nice cabin steward if we could leave the wheelchair and hand luggage in the cabin. No problem maam! So far so good. We have been greeted all the way with a wonderful warm welcome and every member of crew has given us a cheery good Morning!

We headed up to the Windjammer for a little lunch. Mum had a nice ham salad followed by a fruit tart and I had a big fat juicy burger … mmmm! Now this has to be a first – My first drink onboard was a cup of fruit punch! What no alcohol?! Soon rectified that, by getting mum outside to the poolbar so I could have a nice Strawberry Daquarri. Now that’s more like it!!

Headed back to the cabin to see if our cases have arrived and they aren’t here yet. Unpacked the hand luggage and I must confess Im a bit concerned about the lack of storage space. But will have to see how it all fits in once it arrives.

The sun is beating down on the balcony and its far to warm (really need an ice cold cocktail or three)

Next we venture down to deck 5 the Royale Promanade. Oh heck Mum didn’t know where to look. She is blown away. How did they get that car on here? That is going to puzzle her for a few days. We check out our table location. A table for 4 in the Swan Lake restaurant on the upper tier. That will do nicely. Mum really doesnt know where to look, there is so much for her to take in. Blimey! Her eyes nearly popped out of her head when I took her in the casino. How many slot machines? She is going to be kept very busy in there when they open at 6 tonight. We sit for a while on a chaise lounge outside the restaurant on deck 4 while she gathers her energy to get back to the cabin.

Oh dear we still have no cases!! I think she may blow a fuse shortly if they don’t turn up. Poor Oliver the cabin steward has just got both barrels from her. She wont rest until she see’s them, despite the fact he has explained that because we were first onboard they are now at the bottom of the pile to be sorted.

Time to go and see about a nail appointment I think. Mmmm might sneak in a cocktail or two on the way.

Now then here is a something that doesn’t happen very often. I went to lifeboat drill. No choice really. I was up on top deck with loads of other people and marshals came and swept the deck and told us all we must attend. Announcements were made to say that all cabins would be checked. Mum was not happy about it at all, which just added to my amusement really. Considering they insisted we attend it was a bit of a farce. As soon as they saw mum with her walking stick they told us both to sit down under the first lifeboat instead of trecking all the way down to D26. Most people weren’t paying attention and we just listened to the captain as we would have done anyway. I left just before anyone was dismissed, because I had to get Mum into a lift before 3000 other people tried to get back to the cabin.

Yippee, cases are in the cabin and Oliver is Mums new best friend. She refused to wait and I had to open her case there and then. No chance of me going to the sailaway then!

We pulled away dead on 5 and went up to turn in the basin. Artemis was on the other side, so I could only see her as we started to turn. She looked lovely in the sunshine. It is a scorcher of a day, and at least I have the balcony to keep popping out onto to see whats what outside. As we turned Artemis pulled away and headed off infront of us. It was a fab sailaway despite the fact that I was just in the cabin unpacking. It was Cowes Reggatta and loads of lovely yachts and sailing boats were in the water so it was lovely to see all those surrounding us.

Mum was on a mission to get to the slots at 6 so she was changed and out of here, leaving me with more unpacking.

A quick shower to freshen up, and change of clothes and I wasn’t that far behind her really. I found her sat outside the slots in Bolero, oooh la la, she wasn’t happy as it was gone 6 and the slots weren’t open lol. We were having to wait until we were so far out and the Captain gave clearance. She was spitting feathers. I ordered a drink as I thought I had earnt one today. Don’t know what it was, but it was delicious. Limey, minty very strong alcohol thingy what ever it was. Oooh slots are open, thank goodness for that. I put mum infront of a machine and headed up to deck 14 to the Cosmopolitan Bar. Wow! What a view that was. The sun was just starting to set, Artemis was zig zagging in front of us and perfect flat calm sea was glistening in the sunlight. I had an Apple Martini in my hand and I was quite happy just to sit at the bar and look out to sea taking it all in. I could have stayed there for much longer but, I thought Mum may be panicking so I headed back down to see her. She was sitting back in Boleros looking very pleased with herself! Yes, she had had a nice little win and had her photos taken for the winners board too! That’s Mum happy then.

Dinner is in the Swan Lake Restaurant. Nice table for 4 with Ted & Claire. The waitress is lovely although she seems to think Im with Ted lol. Meal was ok, service was excellent. Mum needed her bed so I did have to treck what seemed like miles to make sure she got back to the cabin, and then leg it back to the table to finish the wine. We took the hint though when they turned the lights up full and then dimmed them right back down again, that perhaps they wanted us out of there.

We just got out in time for the parade along the street. I would have loved Mum to see all the costumes etc but never mind. Maybe next time.

From there we headed back to the Cosmopoliatn bar up top and sat in the window watching kids playing in the pool below. Not many people about tonight, they have all had an early night I think.

Sunday 12th August

OMG! 20 to 6 and Im being asked if I want some tea. Err hello its still nighttime!! I have no choice but to order some tea. 7.30 and more tea arrives. By 8.15 she is dressed and ready for breakfast and telling me off because I haven’t even got out of bed yet.

Breakfast in the windjammer is very nice. A waiter is on hand to assist Mum, so I don’t have to worry about getting her food. We are seated and more tea (oh lovely) arrives plus juice.

By 9.30 Im in the Gym. Is this really a holiday? Its packed and its very warm in there too. Trying to set the bike was like the Krypton Factor and thankfully the man on the next bike to me set that up for me. Couldn’t wait to get out though and breath some air.

I had a nightmare trying to get internet access this morning. RCI tried to insist my wireless card wasn’t compatible with their network, but thankfully a very nice passenger man overheard and asked if he could take a look. He worked with IT stuff so knew what he was doing. He said that RCI were talking twaddle. Mind you it took him about 50 minutes to get me connected, but I was very grateful to him. So at least I was able to catch up with a bit of work.

It was lovely and sunny out but rather breezy.

Went to find mum and we ended up in the café on the street for yet more bloody tea (I thought I would live a little and had some green tea!!) We decided to stay there for lunch and I just had a prawn roll which was to die for and some salmon sandwiches. Gosh I feel like Im on some health kick today!

Time at last for a shower and a freshen up. Then while mum had a snooze I went up on top deck for a well earnt lava Flow cocktail – bit of a brain freezer that one! It was lovely out on deck if you could get out of the wind, or perhaps I should say, ‘if you could find a seat?’ People are just everywhere, but I did sneak into one, only to be told that I was actually in somebody’s Hubby’s seat. Ooops! Anyway she let me stay, because I told her I wasn’t stopping long.

Back at the cabin I climbed into bed and took a well earnt little snooze.

Captains Cocktail Party this evening so time to get our glad rags on. I thought the party was in the Ixpatia lounge but it turned out that you only need to go down there if you want your photo taken with the Captain. As we walked down the street we are greeted with trays and trays of champagne. It’s all a bit strange really to stand there in the street, drinking champagne with people in their shorts coming and going. The shops are still open and obviously hoping to pull in a few customers. Mum takes a seat outside Vintages, and before long Denise, Chris and Jack followed by Ted & Claire, join us. So we have a good old natter and exchange views about our first impression of the ship. It was a long party at just over an hour and eventually the Captain appeared on the bridge. Now then you cant exactly call it a speech, but more a list of statistics and introductions from everyone from Deputy Captain down to the plate washer, but he is a very nice guy but more of a welcome speech would have been more listenable. Unfortuantley for me the bloke behind us knocked a table full of drinks flying, all in the direction of my evening dress, but he never batted an eyelid, not even a hint of an apology from him! Im not impressed, but its not worth getting myself in a flap over.

I thought that there would be a mad siege of people trying to get to dinner, but Mum did a good job of slowing them all down lol.

Maria is there to greet, us all. Dinner this evening was very nice. I had shrimps with cocktail sauce, and lovely large shrimps they were too, followed by the Norwegian Salmon. Mmm yummy. After escorting Mum to the slots I returned to Ted & Claire in the restaurant and again we sit there chattering away with the waiters busily going about there business. The lights go up again and then all sorts of coded messages are announced to the waiters which we have fun trying to encrypt. Maria seemsquite happy to let us just sit and chatter.

Tonight we decide to check out the piano bar and what a good choice that turns out to be. Benji the pianist is mad as a fruit bat. A waiter greets us and then goes to find us a seat, now that’s service for you. A round of drinks is sorted and and that’s us for the night. Oooh my southern comfort is not short on the measure, lovely! The pianist is not your usual tinkle the ivories sort, he is a I’ll sing whatever you want sort. We also have to play along with this little game shouting at and taking the mickey out of every one knew that comes into the room.

I nipped out to see a little of Mike Doyles show in the theatre. He is very good as usual.

Im almost scared to try and get back to my seat in the piano bar, but I made it without any shouting at me. By the time the show kicks out Benji has got the room rocking, his timing was superb. And so it continued for the next hour or so, well until a technicial guycame and turned him down a bit. I think someone in the inside promenade view cabins above must have complained. Benji was not amused, neither were we because he spoilt our party.

But times ticking on so it must be time for bed. I head upstairs one deck to collect my hot chocolate, and don’t let the cookies tempt me. As I pass the Two Poets pub I spot Mike Doyle at the bar so I had to go and say Hello. Oh he was delighted that I did. He hugged and kissed me and swung me around. Me and Mike have spent many a happy hour at a bar, usually followed by some crew members party in the past. He has been on here a week, his first time. He did the last few days of last cruise and gets off here in Gib. Shame because we could have had some giggles.

At 2.30 we call it a day and I treck back to my cabin miles away. But when I get there I realise my key isn’t going to work because its been in my bag with the magnet clasp. Usually I would put my key into Mr C’s to pocket to keep it away from my magnet, but of course I didn’t have that choice this time. So no choice but to track all the way back down to reception to get it sorted out and then treck all the way back to the cabin!

Monday 13th August

Ooooh shock horror!!! Mum woke up in a panic. Why? Because it was 25 to 9!! LOL she is not impressed and I think she thinks she will miss breakfast or something because she is dressed and out of the cabin before I have time to even think about what to wear.

We are greeted by ‘Happy happy smiley man’ at the Windjammer, if you don’t smile and shout good morning your not allowed in!

Another crew member greets mum and takes her to assist her with her breakfast and find her a seat before getting her some tea. Well that saved me a job. We went out and got seats by the adult only pool this morning away from the madding crowd, but it wasn’t long before the sky clouded over and it was cold and overcast. Only one thing for it then and that’s abit of work!

After dinner there was a 70’s Dancing in the Street party. Great atmosphere but it didn’t last long enough. We were treated to such things as YMCA etc by the team up on the bridge across the street. Then they all came down into the street and joined in the party. I got kidnapped by a red Indian and konga’d all the way up to Ixtapa lounge, where the party was supposed to continue, but as the ents team did a runner it lost momentum and the party died before it began. I had to fight my way back up the street to find the others. Shame the party finished as we were all enjoying that one!

Tuesday 14th August

10 to 6 and Mums awake! She is getting over excited because we are docking in Gibraltar today. She seems a bit puzzled. I think day break has not long broken, the sun isn’t up and there is no sigh of the Rock of Gibraltar. Going back to sleep wasn’t an option, because we had to have tea!!!

Eventually an hour or so later the Rock appeared and I watched from the balcony as we docked. We are right towards the aft of deck 8 and I could see the full length of the street leading into town.

Breakfast in the Windjammer. I decided I wanted to walk to the very aft section just to see if there was any different choice of food on offer, and apart from omelettes cooked to order I didn’t notice anything. We sat in the main part of the room overlooking the aft and it was rammed. We sat near to a family with 3 young tots all under 5 or 6. Flippin heck it did my head in just to watch and listen. One of the youngsters had a packet of cereal and he was merrily slowly emptying it all over the floor, there was also another cereal packet already there along with the bags out of each box, plus there were sugar sachets and the odd packet of sauce. The section waiter kept passing and kicking more of the rubbish under the lads chair, meanwhile the parents carried on oblivious and never once did I hear them tell him to stop. I get so wound up about things like that. Don’t they realise someone has to clean up after them. Anyway that’s my rant over.

Back to the cabin to collect the wheelchair and we were one of the first ones off, which meant there was no queuing for a taxi ticket or taxi into town. It was £2 or €4 return per person and they dropped you just before the BP garage because there was renovation work by the tunnel. In fact there was a lot of building work all the way in for a new entertainment complex, so the whole run in was a bit of a dusty messy one.

It was fairly easy to push Mum along the main street and back and things only got difficult when she wanted to go into shops with steps. Booze and Ciggies seemed to be the same price everywhere. £11.50 for 200 Benson & Hedges and Mum bought me a litre of Southern Comfort at £9.50 and Jack a litre of Pussers Rum at £10.50, didn’t really take much notice of the price of anything else.

We got back to the ship at about 11.30. Gee whiz it looks huge against the port building. Once inside the terminal our bottles are confiscated to be given back at the end of the cruise. Oooh Mummy doesn’t like that, not because she wants to drink any of it, but because she is convinced that the crew will loose it! Oooh I don’t think they dare. Many people scooted past the crew taking drink off you thinking that they had got away with it, but once onboard the ship, every bottle that went through the scanner was taken and ticketed to be returned at a later date. LOL, some of the people were going crackers about it! Well, they should read the brochure!

I get to the cabin as fast as I can and change into a bikini. I need to get on deck and get a cocktail – Ive earnt one today!

I go up to deck 12 and get a spot overlooking the pools. Its not too bad today because most people are ashore. Mmmmm there is a barbeque cooking just below us, so I get my cocktail, settle mum into a seat and wait for lunch. The barbeque was excellent. Steak, spare ribs which were yummy and there was some fish of some description. Oooh and chicken or donar kebabs. Mum had never seen or heard of one before but she seemed to like it. Loads of lovely salad, fresh fruit, cakes and cookies. Im determined to stick it until 3.00pm but its oh so hot it’s a struggle. The deck was rammed by 2 and when I turned around to look for a waiter I realised that I had been hemmed in by chairs 3 deep behind me. Even the flippin waiter couldn’t get to me to get my drinks order. I am hating this deck more and more. Im glad to see the clock tick around to 3 and I go in to do a bit more work and have a shower. At 6 I nipped back out just to sit in a still scorching sun, by the adults pool and just enjoy some peace and quiet. I get chatting to a lovely couple who tell me they did the Baltics on this cruise in May and it was totally different on here then because there weren’t so many familiys and wasn’t so crowded everywhere. So I guess the moral of the story is don’t cruise on here peak season, if you want a more relaxed atmosphere without kids in your face all the time.

We had tickets for the ise show this evening at 7.30. Bit of a struggle to get mum there on time as I left the cabin late due to a few work commitments, but we just scraped in. I managed to get Mum a seat on the end of a row and I sat just infront of her. Anyone who goes on a Royal Caribbean cruise should not miss the ice show. It was fantastic. An excellent show with all the jumps and spins and swirls and excellent costumes. The guest star was a very tiny Marina Karamysheva who could hula hoop so many different hoops at once while still skating around! A very talented young lady. Mum was amazed at the whole show and declared she had never seen anything like that in her life before. She wont forget that in a hurry!

We sat in Boleros this evening with Denise and Chris. Lol Denise has been allowing Billy the concierge to serve her some pretty hefty measures of Vodka tonight I think. Denise you were very amusing tonight LOL.

Wednesday 15th August

Ive got an 8.00am pedicure appointment this morning and they call me at 7.45am to remind me and also to see if Im up? Am I up? Ive had tea already!! I have to say that I wasn’t that impressed with my luxury pedicure at $60, yes he has done my toes and toe nails lovely, but I did comment to him that I must have blinked and missed the leg and foot massage. It went over his head, so I commented again when he gave me the bill, but it was falling on well trained deaf ears so I left it until I could go and read the blurb on what I thought I was getting. Back at the cabin Mum is sitting waiting for me to take her to breakfast, so off we go again. I had another lovely yummy salmon bagel.

We went out to deck 11 by the pools but the heat hit you in the face. I cant stand it, especially with all the kids running around and screaming so decide to go do a bit of work while mum sits in a shady spot.

I decide to work in comfort up in the card room on deck 14 with a view across the open decks. I have to say Im very impressed to see the deck attendants going around collecting all the towels laid on the loungers reserving seats while the owners went to breakfast or back to bed!

2 hours later my work is done for the time being, so a quick change into bikini and I head back up to deck for a cocktail. Mum is on the edge of her seat waitng for me to get back because she wants lunch! What no cocktail? Its only 10 to 12! But I take her down to the café on prom for ham croissants and apple pie. We decide to try prom deck to see if its nice to sit out there? Oh its so lovely and peaceful!! I get mum a lounger and put her by the railings while I go up to the deck at the front and do the Titanic bit. Its so lovely and peaceful and breezy out here, I could stand here all day. I returned to Mum and stood by the rails just looking at the lovely clear blue sea, but there is only so long I can go without a cocktail for so I head back to deck 12. I managed to find a seat forward of the ship away from the main hussle and bustle of the crowd and enjoyed two cocktails, one a rum punch the other some frozen bartenders creation that gave me brain freeze. It unbelievable hot and I don’t know how people are sitting in it. I went for a little stroll around the deck, but when I saw ‘Bingo Spice’ or should I say heard her, doing a blokes holiday camp style lovely legs competition around the pool, that just about finished me off!! No this Hi Di style of cruising is not for me. Time to go indoors out of the heat and maybe induldge in a little more work. Guess what? Mum made me have tea and cookies when I got in LOL. She cant understand why I laugh everytime she mentions tea. Sorry to have to say that the cookies do not live up to Cunard standards, but they are nice non the less.

By 7 we are docked in Barcelona. Its still baking hot and we watch the comings and goings of the dockside. Judging by the amount of people that have gone for the shuttle bus over half the ship must have left for a night on the town tonight. Mum decides she would like to go and have a look in the terminal building, doesn’t sound very exciting to me, but I quickly change for dinner and then we treck to the other end of the ship to be at the right end for the gangways. We get as far as the disembarkation area but security tell mum that the terminal building shops are closed – oooh she’s not happy about that! Great I can sneak a quick drink in in the Schooner Bar, before the long treck to the other end of the ship to the Restaurant.

Not a lot of people are dining tonight, but poor Maria is rushed off her feet. The table of 14 wants to be in and out fast this evening. She enlists the help of Giovani the head waiter to fetch the starters and the wine etc. Main course of Thai King Prawns this evening which were lovely, followed by a nice refreshing sorbet.

Mums to tired to consider a show or activity of any kind tonight so I take her back to the cabin, How does she get into bed so quick?

Ted & Claire have gone ashore so I head for the lively entertainment of the Piano bar. Benji is playing and being his usual loud entertaining self, but the seat I have is in the smoking area and I cant stick it for to long. Time to go and checkout the show. I spot Dee & Chris in the back of the Ixapia lounge listening to the quiz so I stick my head in there to see whats what, before we all head off to the show. Jeff Stevens and a juggler called Pete Matthews. Jeff was very funny but it was the usual cruise ship humour. The juggler was very talented and entertaining with his humour so it passed 45 minutes away. Im ready for my bed, so after a call to Mr C and Liz telling them all about my adventures at sea, I collect my hot chocolate and head for bed. I very quietly managed to sneak behind the curtain and slide open the balcony door without disturbing Mum and sit with my hot chocolate watching the late night taxi loads come back from ashore. Then I was too scared to go back in incase I woke Mum and scared her lol, but I managed it and I slipped into bed like a ghost!

Thursday 16th August

Oooh dear the weather isn’t looking clever this morning. It’s a bit breezy down on the dockside and its overcast. After the compulsory early morning cup of tea we head for breakfast. I choose to sit in yet another part of the Windjammer today, just to see if its any less occupied by families. The answer to that is no not really. We end up on a table next to a Spanish family who’s eating habits leave a lot to be desired! I go out on deck to check out the weather situation and I can see the clouds coming in from the hills. Not looking good at all. What is looking good is the pool deck, for the first time ever I see it with not a sole on it. No towels reserving seats, no kids jumping around, just me.

I decide now would be a good time to go and check out the kids area. Its huge. A massive arcade area and then 4 really big, well equipped rooms designed to suit each age group. So if they have all this why do they also have the full use of the ship? I got chatting to some of the youth crew and they tell me that they have 1100 kids onboard this cruise!!! That is a third of the ships capacity – too many in my opinion!

We return to the cabin where I get on with a bit of work while Mum watches the comings and goings of the taxis and shuttle buses. Plenty of shuttle buses and local port buses keep the crowd down, but those waiting for a taxi were having a long wait. They seem to be in very short supply. I wonder if RCI keep the taxis away some how, just so they can have the monopoly on the shuttle bus for revenue.

Very reluctantly I head down t reception to get some shuttle bus tickets to go ashore. $4.25 each person, each way. That’s $17 in total return. I think that is way over the top. Disembarkation was easy enough from deck 4 via a tunnel walkway and down in a lift to the lower floor of the terminal building. Straight onto the bus and nobody asks for the ticket. What was the point of buying it I ask myself? The ride into town is really short, over the port bridge, round a roundabout and before I know it we are parked up. Is that it? Im not impressed because its still quite a little walk to the Ramblas. To get to the Ramblas would have been good but it just started to spit with rain as we got off the bus. Now as Mum had had a big hairdressing session yesterday involving curlers, sprays, a big silver hood and a lot of huffing and puffing she didn’t want to get her hair wet. For one of the first times ever, I hadn’t packed a brollie this cruise, so we stood under a bus stop for 40 minutes waiting for the rain to pass. At one point it threw it down and I was glad we were under shelter, then as it eased I decided to make a sprint for it and try and get her into town to at least get a brollie before her precious hair got ruined. Now if it hadn’t been so flippin far into the Ramblas from where the bus dropped us, we would have been ok, because you could just feel light misty rain in the air, but we had to cross main roads, walk around corners, past large buildings etc. The heavens opened again and I got to another bus stop but mum was drenched and I was getting it well in the neck. She wants to go back to the bus, now!!! But it’s a lot further to the bus than it is into town, and we really need a brollie, so once I spin the chair around a few times mum looses all sense of direction and across two more busy main roads and we are at the foot of the Ramblas. But, before I got there the heavens opened again and gave the biggest down pour of all. OMG!! I was drenched and she was yelling. I had a white patterned skirt on, that was full enough not to need an underskirt this morning when I got dressed, but oh heck was I wishing I had put one on now! My skirt was so wet that it was clinging to every part of me. Its times like this when you wsh you had gone out in your big pants for once!!! The first news stand I come to I grab Mum a brollie. Oooooh she is looking scarily angry with me today. She is most definitely not amused. But I continue to get wetter and wetter until I can find some shelter. Another 10 minutes and its easing so I head off up the Ramblas with Mum spitting feathers from under the brollie. I really cant see a thing with a brollie in my face so if anyone gets in my way, its there fault! Half way up the Ramblas Mum spots a handbag shop across the road. Yesssss, cheap and nifty handbag shop saves the day. She hops out of the chair into the shop and is like a kid in a sweet shop. One bag and a ring later I have a happy happy Mummy! The rain has stopped and I can carry on as normal, well if I could stop my skirt from clinging to me I’d feel a lot happier. Its getting more difficult to dodge the people now, and I keep crossing back to the ramblas where its less crowded and flatter ground. Eventually I make it to the main shopping square and Mummy is very happy smiley now. Ooooh yes she likes Barcelona now! Im even starting to dry out, although my feet are a little squidgy. We walked back down Las Ramblas where Mum laughed her head off at all the street entertainers, oh it doesn’t take much to turn her around. At the bottom of Las Ramlas there is a nice selection of craft stalls and a couple of laps of that leaves us both feeling better about our visit to Barcelona. I treck across a few roads and get back to the shuttle bus drop off point, just as a bus is leaving, but another one is soon there and we are on our way back to the ship. Oh no, more shops in the terminal which we have to look at.

Back onboard and Mum utters those now familiar words ‘shall we have a cup of tea? Didn’t even have time to get back to the cabin. No, I had to stop by the café on deck 5 and sit while mum had ham and cheese croissants with tea, followed by cake, with tea!

When I eventually got back to the room, mum was worn out lol, so she was straight into bed, which meant I could concentrate on doing some work. I worked until really quite late today, but it was a formal night so needed to make an effort to get ready. I managed to get out for 8 which meant time for a drink in the Cosmopolitan Club.

Well, that was an interesting experience. There I am all togged up in my finery and sat at the bar two stools away in a man in jeans and white tea shirt reading a book! Hes not the only one not to be dressed formally. I look around and some of the ‘formal’ dress code leaves a lot to be desired. It wouldn’t be so bad if RCI at least said, dress code of the day isn’t compulsory but don’t use certain bars. I can spot P&O passengers a mile off in this room, its seems to be our gathering point, the room with a view lol. I started chatting to the couple next to me, yes I was right. Goldies! This was their first and last trial of RCI. We all seem in agreement that there is nothing wrong with the ship or the staff, but passenger profile let the whole thing down. I spot another couple come into the room who definitely are P&O people because Ive cruised at the same time as them many times, so must catch up with them at some point.

Im late leaving the Cosmopolitan club, which means Im late to collect Mum from the slots for dinner. We miss each other and I end up going around in circles while she gets herself to dinner.

Dinner this evening was good, but mine had to go back. It was cold, and I don’t mean just luke warm, I do mean stone cold. But a replacement of very tender lamb chops arrived very swiftly.

After dinner Ted and Claire head off to the show, now I know that if I do a show, that will finish me off for the evening and I’ll be asleep. So I go for a little wander around the ship to see what is going on everywhere.

On my way down in the lift from deck 14 I commented that that was a first – me the oldest one in a lift on a cruise ship! Benji the pianist finds that highly amusing and asks if he can use it in his act. Well, if Im in for a mention I had better go to the piano bar. Oh he has a field day with my little quip and keeps telling anyone knew who comes in. I enjoyed a bit of a singalong and watching the various comings and goings. Nobody else in the Schooner bar in a long dress though, all though there are some slight variations of formal wear.

I decide its time for my bed, but Im nosey so I stick my head in the karaoke in the Ixapia lounge. Mmmm its busy in here so I take a seat, it looks good! It did seem like a very good night had been had by all in here, but the entertainment girl had a good way of killing it! She came on after one singer and said ‘Right time for 3 more songs and that’s it’ that met with a few boo’s and hisses, oh people must have had a good night in here. With that she really snapped ‘well you haven’t got to be up at 6 to make sure 3000 passengers get off this ship and have a nice day ashore, and then you don’t have to work all day right through the evening at a deck party to make sure 3000 passengers have a good time!!!!’ she really was out of order the way she spoke, but I think the room went into shock.

So the night was bought to an abrupt halt in there.

I trotted off to get my hot chocolate and that was me finished for the night.

I have a little mission with myself and that is to try not to go to bed before they have changed the carpet in the lift to say it’s the next day. So far, its mission accomplished.

Friday 17th August

Villefrance today and it’s a tender port. Oh this is going to be fun!

Mums on one of her missions to get out of the cabin for breakfast at the crack of dawn this morning, which doesn’t put me in the best of moods for tackling breakfast at the Windjammer. To be fair, we do tend to get there so early that there isn’t to many people to get in your way. Its just about the final straw when I return with mums plate of breakfast and she says that she has ordered me some tea!!! I had to go outside and phone Mr C to tell him to destroy all tea bags by the time I get home. Tea is now banned form the Chadwick residence.

We are using the Port authority tenders today which are larger and easily accessable. I had to rely on the security staff and the boat men to help mum onto the tender though and I made it quite clear that I was not attempting it. That is quite a big thing I have noticed on this ship. On P&O for instance, we just wheel mum to any gangway or tender station and crew automatically take over and make sure she gets off the ship safely. On here they will watch me struggle, so now I just ask for help straight away.

Villefrance with a wheelchair was a definite challenge. High kerbs, hills and steps up to the level with a few shops. I ended up getting mum out of the chair and making her walk up the steps then I had to really struggle to carry the wheelchair up and down. I do love Villefranche, it’s the sort of place that I like to just sit in the bay and watch the world go by, but no chance when your with Mum in a wheel chair. It was even a struggle to push her along the front with uneven paths and high kerbs.

We return to the ship before most people have probably disembarked. And what does Mum want to do? Yep, go for a cup of tea!!!

Back at the ship, its nice and quiet, so its straight up on deck for me. Its scorching hot and by the time Ive ordered my Strawberry Daquari mum announces she wants to go to the cabin again. So up I get, treg down to deck 8 aft at a snails pace only to return to find my lovely drink completely melted.

That’s it! I ask a waiter to bring me a long island iced tea and told him to make sure it’s a good one!!! Oh heck, why did I say that? I got a pint pot of the stuff. It went down very easily but it knocked me sideways. I rolled over in the lounger and passed out for an hour. I think I was dribbling too, oh dear! My head was in a right old spin. It took me a while to even start to think about standing up confidently.

Once back in the cabin I threw myself in a nice cold shower. Arhhh that was better.

Time for a bit of work so I grab my stuff and head for the card room on deck 14 where I can work in peace and comfortably. I always have lots to do on Fridays. A young lad came in and started to play the piano. I must admit I thought he had the intention of fooling around, but he was excellent. So I had classical music being played for me whilst I worked. The view was lovely today, with all of the expensive yachts sitting in the bay surrounding us.

I have to say that I did start to feel a little seasick up there. The room really shudders and vibrates. I think that’s because the captain was using the anzipod thingys to keep us still for the tender service.

No slots for Mum to play tonight as we are in port until 9.30 so I took her up to the Cosmopolitan Club for an hour before dinner. She liked it up here and it is a spectacular view. I chatted to the couple I had seen the night before who I thought I had seen on P&O and I was correct. They are in agreement with a lot of people I have spoken to. RCI has its plus points but they wont be coming back to give it another try.

Oooh I forgot, I nipped up to the Wedding Chapel tonight to have a look. Have to say it reminded me more of a chapel of rest than anything else. Not the most inspirational décor. I wouldn’t like to think I had booked my wedding at sea in there. You don’t even get a sea view!

Dinner is at 8.45 this evening due to our late departure so we head back down to deck 5 just in time for the doors opening.

I had the shrimp cocktail again followed by some exotic sounding fish in sweet n sour sauce. Me & Ted had a bowl of chips too, and vinegar mmmm yum!

I spotted a beautiful bouquet of flowers being delivered to the dining room but the delivery girl was making a bit of a hash of it, because she hadn’t got as clue how the tables were numbered and she ended up askng all our surrounding table. I thought to myself how disappointing for the person they were intended for. There wouldn’t be any element of surprise. How wrong I was! I had been double bluffed and the flowers were for me!!! Well, I was speechless. I never expected that. And I thought it was such a lovely thought of my friends to send them to me. They were just so lovely. They now adorn our cabin and the smell is so sweet.

After dinner we headed for the deck party, but not before I went to fetch a cardigan because I knew it was windy outside.

Ooooh I laughed my little socks off when I opened the cabin door. Our first towel animal had arrived on Mums bed, took him 6 days to get there though! We had a rabbit so I left him there to surprise mum later.

Out on deck it was blowing a gale and it wasn’t long before I was cold through to my bones. It’s a shame because the band were excellent. There was also a full blown deck buffet with ice carvings and all the trimmings, but why anybody would want to eat again is beyond me. It didn’t stop Chris though, he went up for 2 or 3 selections! I stuck it out until the end but I almost ran for my hot chocolate.

I got to the cabin and mum must of thought that I hadn’t seen the towel rabbit because she had tried to carefully lift it onto my bed. She didn’t do a very good job though because the poor thing looked like it had been in an RTA!

Saturday 19th August

Livorno today and the dock area isn’t the prettiest of sights to wake up to. Breakfast in the Windjammer and we are one of the first off the ship again. I had heard that taxis into town were 15€ so it was worth while buying the shuttle bus tickets today at $4 each per way. One thing I have noticed about disembarkation on here is that you have to ask for help at the gangway. There are no stewards on hand waiting to assist, you have to wait for a security guard to close down his station and help you. Even then the help stops at the bottom of the gangway. The ground was very uneven inside the ships cordon and there was no way I could get the wheel chair over crane tracks and pot holes. Two security gaurds just stood and watch me struggle until I asked for help. So its about 30 degs in the shade and already my temper is starting to fray a little. Then I get to the bus and it has the steepest highest steps to climb that I have ever seen. Mum attempts it but there is no way she can do it. Why don’t they tell you they are using these big double decker type buses before you buy a ticket? So we are told to wait for a crew bus. There I am stood on the dockside frazzling in the early morning heat. Then the scruffy crew bus turns up! Fancy insulting the crew with a tatty thing like that. It still has steps so it still takes an eternity to get mum onboard.

The bus stopped in town where I expected it to and I let the entire bus off load before attempting to get mum off. Oh some help would have been lovely. I had to get the wheelchair myself and put that on the path. Then struggle with mum down the steps while the two bus drivers enjoyed a chat as they watched us. Are all Italians so ignorant?

Thankfully I knew where the market was, so I didn’t have to get frustrated looking for that. That’s the handy thing about cruising all the time, you get to know the ports like the back of your hand.

The market was already busy and how the heck I managed to push mum through the crowds and up and down those little alleys is beyond me but I did it. Ok yes so I lost my rag a few times but mum was oblivious to it. She was in her element with all the fake goods and bargains. She had shoes for €9 and two bags for €5 and a designer fake bag from €45 down to €20 which is about what it was worth but mum had really enjoyed this morning so at least she was returning happy.

I got back to the bus and the bus driver suggested I use the other bus again. No help again of course and I even had to ask another passenger to put the wheel chair in the luggage area because the bus driver wasn’t going to get out of his seat. Back at the dockside I hung around until security would take mum back onboard for me, then it was a quick change and up to windjammer for some lunch. A week today I was just embarking this ship, so that only leaves 7 more days to go.

I had a lovely salad today washed down wit two glasses of their complimentary lemonade – very refreshing!

Up on deck it was baking hot again and I knew I wasn’t going to stick it for long. Getting some seats that suited both me and mum was a trial, but I did manage to get a seat up by the adult pool. I got mum a lounger by the windows. She didn’t like that one, so we tried a different one and she didn’t like that because she couldn’t see what was going on. I eventually found her one she seemed happy with and went to settle myself down. Now that sounds easy but it really isn’t. There is nowhere to put your bag or belongings because the seats are so closely rammed in, so they have to go under the bottom of the chair. You have to really stretch across to lay your towel out and then sit your bum on the end of the seat, get your drink and then try really hard to elegantly shuffle your bum up the seat, without spilling your drink and without knocking the person next to you. I really really hate the way they ram all the chairs together on this ship. Even up top deck, if you want to get near to the rails to look over the ship side you just have no chance. They don’t even leave periodic gaps and if they do the passengers make full use of them by pulling out their chair a little.

Im just settled, and mum is up off her seat and wants to sit in the sun because the other seat is ‘drafty’ What? Thankfully the chair on the very end has become free so I can put her on there, but first I have to struggle my way of my own lounger! Grrrrr….

She is there all of 5 minuts and she wants to move again because its too hot!!! Yes I know its flaming hot and Im fed up of trying to master the art of getting on and off this dam flaming seat! I park her next to a bronze horse – he looks nice and cool!

The lady next to me is finding all of this highly amusing. She cant believe that I have pushed mum all around the market today as she works with disabled people at home and knows how hard it is to get a wheelchair from A to B. It turns out that she is also a regular P&O passenger and she doesn’t want to try RCI again, for all the reasons that have already been mentioned. The dress code is one of her main gripes, and like me feels over dressed most nights. She has a 15year old daughter, whom she said usually goes to the kids clubs on P&O and she never sees much of her. On here she doesn’t like it, there are too many kids for her to make friends with and gel, also a lot of large family groups together means that a lot of kids know each other all ready and she feels intimidated. Its funny to hear so many P&O’rs comments about this ship. I think the one and only thing that lets it down is the passenger profile and in turn the dress code.

It really is baking hot today and I decide to have a dip in the pool to cool off. OMG could it be any icier cold? I really tried to get in but could go past the tops of my legs.

I know I’ll have a Pimms!!! That’ll cool me down. The waiter wants to know what I want in my Pimms? Why? Do Americans drink it neat or something? Maybe they do because a man next to mum tells me he had one the other day and that’s what he got a shot of pimms in a glass. Mine arrives and its vile, long and fizzy over ice, no garnish and just bitter. It has to go back so this time the waiter suggests he use lemonade to mix, wonder what I had before then? In his wisdom he bought it back and proudly told me this one would be nice as he mixed it with some 7 up! He was wrong it wasn’t nice at all, but I drank it!

It was starting to cloud over so I thought now would be a good time to go and do a little work. Thankfully it was Saturday and there wasn’t too much work there for me.

The sun was back out so I decided to go back up to top deck for a cocktail. I nearly lost my temper trying to get a chair. As we were in port there were a fair few chairs available, but you try and find one that you can actually get to, to put you bum on, that’s a different story. I eventually found one that was far enough aware from the hoards of people and overlooked the beautiful aqua coloured seas. I had a mango and wild berry daquari….mmmm that was nice and refreshing.

We sailed from Livorno without much sense of occasion as normal. What I find amusing is that the Captain waits until we are back out at sea to welcome us back onboard. Every day he has read the conduct policy about childrens behaviour, what time they should be in bed etc, but I don’t think anyone listens to him.

I went for my usual pre dinner drink in the Cosmopolitan Club and tried a key lime pie cosmopolitan. Now that did exactly what it said on the tin! I felt like I was eating the pie. Dinner is not until 8.45pm but I made sure I went to find mum at 8.30 just coming out of the slots. We sat and chatted to a South African couple before heading into dinner.

After dinner the American Drifters were on in the Theatre. Im glad I went to see them. A very slow and dull start but they got as lot better. Ive no idea if any of them were original, but they were very good. We also had BBC cocktails to keep us refreshed during the show.

I left the show via the side entrance that nobody else was using. Trouble was that I lost Ted & Claire and couldn’t find them again. I was tired anyway (despite the Drifters being good my eyes went twice during the show) so I got my hot chocolate and headed for bed. I was a bit worried that I might have been too early for a change of carpet of the day in the lift, but I had just scraped through!

Sunday 19th August

A morning at sea. Mum had one of her panic attacks because we woke up after 8 again this morning. Gosh she is scarey when she does that. So we miss 2 hours of the day, so what? I ordered her a croissant with her morning tea incase she is hungry or something and then she goes crazy at me for ‘spoiling her breakfast’!

Breakfast in the Windjammer, and then I have work to do. Mum goes for a walk around the shops on Royale Promenade while I go up to ‘my office’ on deck 14. The lad playing the piano is mid performance when a Dad come and asks him to stop so his spoilt daughter can practice her Chopin. I wasn’t impressed.

We dock at Cagliari at noon and I don’t recognise the place at all.

Time to find Mum. You can imagine how long that took me with me going around and around the ship a few times. Then all of a sudden she called out from the Champagne Bar! Of all the places that I expected to find her, that wasn’t one of them.

I fetched the wheelchair to her and we went ashore. Again we had to ask for assistance to get off the ship. There were plenty of free shuttle buses today including one for wheelchair access which had just set off on a run. It was a nice flat easy short enough walk and I had nothing better to do with my time so we walked into town, taking photos along the way. Arrrrh I remember this place now. But it was Sunday and literally nothing was open apart from the department store, a few bars and a couple of Indian shops. One of the street entertainers highly entertained Mum. Two cats with white mice crawling all over them! What the heck was all that about. I attempted to get up one of the back street hills that didnt look too steep, but it was to much. The main street was a very steep hill so all I could do was walk along the font in search of something open, but nothing. Denise and Chris went on a horse and cart ride for €12 per person which that said was lovely, but I never saw that.

It was very hot so we went and got the little wheelchair bus back to the ship, very fast and efficient service. Back at the ship the tide had changed and the ramp back on board was almost vertical. The security guard asked if Mum could get out and walk up? He must have been joking. Even I was going to struggle with it. So I said no way. They needed to find a way to get her back onboard. It took 4 of them this time to drag and push the chair up the ramp but she made it.

I headed straight for the top deck as there was a barbeque by the pool. I found a couple of loungers near the bar overlooking the pool area. There was just a gentle breeze blowing across that part of deck so it was good. I nipped down a deck for two plates of food and then washed it down with a vodka and diet coke.

Back down to the cabin to change into a bikini and I was back on my seat to try and chill out on a Sunday afternoon. I thought a long island iced tea might assist with chilling out so one arrived pretty swiftly. It looked a bit colourless but the waiter explained that this was a strong island iced tea! In other word it didnt have any coke mix in it!! Well, that was my afternoon finished, the band were playing by the pool and I went fast to sleep. Completley zonked out!

It was quite late when I got back to the cabin and we sailed with out really noticing.

Pre dinner drinks in Denise and Chris’s suite this evening. Oh this is lush. I can see why Denise has said that this has been her saving grace this cruise. Her little piece of solitude. It’s a big suite and has all the comforts you could wish for. Mum wants tea so Denise has to first work out how to operate the kettle lol. The drinks and canapés arrive. Can we really drink 4 bottles of champagne. Chocolate dipped strawberries and 3 trays of scrummy canapés too. Oooh this is very nice. The balcony is huge with loungers and upright chairs (no cushions though lol) and a lovely mosaic table. Yes I should imagine that its lovely and peaceful out here to sunbath during the day.

We are a little late for dinner (too busy enjoying ourselves) but Maria doesn’t worry, she soon has our wine and starters sorted and we end up being served our mains before the large table of 14. I had barbeque coconut chicken this evening which was very nice.

Needed to get out of the restaurant a little earlier than we normally do this evening to get a good spot to see the Mardi Gras Parade from. We manage a nice spot outside the shop. The parade was excellent and well worth going to see.

Little undecided what to do next. We tried Boleros but no seats were to be had. Then we walked through the Schooner bar and that was full. So we ended up in Ixapia lounge. The band started up and I have no idea what it was supposed to be but it just sounded like noise to me. Nobody apart from a few kids were dancing and bouncing balloons around. It was a bit of a kids playground in here.

I decide its time for my hot chocolate and head for bed. But I decide to stop enroute in the libray and take up a comfy armchair overlooking the street for a bit of people watching and to enable be to drink my hot chocolate in comfort.

I got back to the cabin to see a dismembered towel animal had been thrown on the sofa. Im going to have to tell the cabin steward to put the animals on my bed so I can get to see them before Mum kills them

Monday 20th August

A day at sea. Mum has done it again and over slept! Oh it does put her in a bad mood when she does that! She is so grumpy about it that she falls back asleep lol. But she wakes up when her tea arrives. Im on first name terms with ‘Stacey’ the girl that answers the phone on room service, she always knows we want two teas with milk and sugar. Then it was a relatively late breakfast for us.

Its hot and sunny outside but can I face those 1000’s of people packed in like sardines on deck 12? I give it a whirl but only last and hour, and that included me going for two walks! I had to pull a lounger out of the row over looking the rail and dispose of it in a corner just t gain access to the chairs. There we all are just packed in a line like sardines – I really hate it! Then there is the running track directly behind us with the constant thud thud thud of the joggers going around like demented ants.

I decide the best place for me is back on my balcony and to crack on with a bit of work. I can loose myself and forget completely where I am. Thats much better! I saw 3 turtles swim by the side of the ship, that is something I have never seen before during all of my cruises.

1.00pm and its rendevous with Mum at the Promenade café for a spot of lunch.

I had a lovely sesame knot roll filled with tuna salad and a slice of pizza. Mum had the ham and cheese croissant and of course a cup of tea!

I drop by the shop for a ship fridge magnet, but shock horror they don’t have any! A ship shop without magnets, Ive never known that before. Mum buys me a ship for my office though.

Mum needs to go and check out the slots so I head back up to that horrible top deck again. I walk around and around just looking for somewhere even remotely suitable to sit. Eventually I find a single chair on the roof of the pool bar next to a couple of P&O passengers I chat to from time to time. I order a strawberry daquarri, but they are out of starwberrys so have to settle for peach. Its ok, but oooh they give you brain freeze. Not got the slightest chance of chilling out because a few minutes later there is ice carving just below me by the pool. People are so dam ignorant on here and just push past your lounger to stand by the railings in front. Im packed in like a sardine again and Im ready to flip my lid! The silly ents woman goes on and on about guessing what it is and then cracks all the usual jokes about what happens to it once its melted etc. Anyway it turned out to be a dophin, so that was that over.

Then the rock band started to perform and as good as they are, they were just way too loud to relax to. So that’s me finished again with sittng still.

I took a gentle stroll down to deck 4 then up the flight of stairs to the forward end of the ship. Ahhh peace is restored once more. I could sit out here forever. There is just a gentle breeze and no hint of any noise other than the sound of the sea.

Before returning to the balcony I walked all along the promenade deck to the aft of the ship. That’s a very uninspiring area.

Back on the balcony my arms are burning so its into the cold shower for me.

Formal night tonight

I tried having a little snooze this afternoon – no flaming chance! Everytime I nod off there is questions from Mum. She wouldn’t dream of being quiet so I can shut my eyes for 5 minutes, yet when she is asleep Im like a little mouse creeping around.

Eventually I give in and decide to get up and get my glad rags on and get to the Cosmo Club. Its quiet in here but then I am early. Rosylyn makes me a lovely Cosmo and I sit and watch the comings and goings of the passengers. I suppose one of the good things about this ship is that you can do what you want, when you want, although RCI don’t promote it as that. I can see plenty of people still sat at the pool bar at 7.30pm, there are people still laid in swimwear on sun loungers and there are still kids in the pools. What I do object to is the fact that RCI don’t uphold the dress code. This to me is a formal bar, a cocktail lounge, so why am I sat at the bar in my long red dress etc and there are others looking like they are going to a pub beer garden. The men are the worst. For instance a lady in a little black dress, nice shoes etc and the bloke she is with is in Chinos, open neck check red shirt and timberland boots! I just don’t get it? Fine if you want to drink in the pub and go eat in the Windjammer but not for the cocktail bars!

Im late for dinner this evening, but apparently my watch is wrong. Im even later because I spend 10 minutes looking for Mum.

I look around the restaurant and Im still ranting on about the dress code. Blokes in open neck shirts no jackets etc. When Gianni the head waiter comes around for his little chat, I asked him about dress code and he said nobody is allowed in the restaurant without the correct dress code, nobody gets past him! Well he needs to take his blinkers off and start to stick with what he knows the correct policy is. Even in the section where we are sat there is plenty of blokes without jacket or tie, or infact anything that resembles formal attire. For me it spoils the whole ambience of the evening.

Considering it’s a formal night there is nothing really going on tonight. We check out the Rockie o kee (karaoke to a live rock band) but its rammed in there, and its mainly families with kids so we are out of there! Boleros is full, so we head for Comopolitan Club. No kids up there after dinner so that’s much more pleasant. Nice band but they are a little loud, and this is where I miss the ents team or social hosts because there is nobody to dance with.

Ted and Claire have a few dollars to go and gamble, so we head back downstairs and I go for a little wander around. Benji isn’t at his piano. The Dungeon is dead, and karaoke is still going but oh dear its dire. Denise is just leaving and she said it has been dreadful lol.

I head into Boleros for on of those drinks that begin with G. No idea what it is except its vodka, lots of lime and a mint bush lol. Very nice anyway! I sit in the Alice in Wonderland chairs and its not long before Ted and Claire are back with their pot of money from the slots. We spend a nice hour or so people watching, but its hot chocolate time, so its back along the street to collect my drink then I return to deck 6 and sit in a nice armchair watching the activity of the street below. Security are patrolling around but they arnt doin a very good job as there are kids still riding the lifts and shouting from the little balconies! Oh well Im leaving them to it!

Oooh I got a towel animal tonight! No idea what it is though. Could be an aardvark! Lol

Tuesday 21st August

Malaga today, but im not allowed any lie in! Tea is ordered before sun rise!! It was an impressive sunrise though! And the sun was hot!

Breakfast in the windjammer then I had a bit of work to catch up on.

I had decided not to buy a shuttle bus ticket today and instead I would get a taxi. So off I trott past the shuttle bus queue and past all the busses a few hundred yards to the taxi’s. The robbing gypsy taxi drivers wanted €30 into town! It cant be that far surely? If there had been someone to share with then it wouldn’t have been so bad, but there were all large groups of people filling up taxis. So, as there were other people walking I decide to walk to! Thing was half way round I realised that 90% of them were walking to the beach. So its 35 degs, clear blue sky and blazing sun and there I am walking along an open road and then beach promenade, no shade, pushing a wheelchair. Muscles started to ache that I didn’t even know belonged to me. Apart from that I wanted to pass out from the heat. And there is HRH sat there like the Queen Mum asking me how much further it is? Not a good question to ask when you are p’d off and irritable! So Im walking along the beach promenade thinking to myself, ‘Ive been here before the shops are just over the road’ Oh no they weren’t! I still had a few roads to negotiate, I passed a bullring, then I was at a big main road junction with cars going all ways, then it was half a mile through some gardens until eventually I can see where everyone is heading towards the main shopping street. When we got there I just wanted to drop. I was soaking wet and in desperate need of a drink and a sit down, but oh no, Mum sits up and all I get is, take me over there, oh that shop looks nice, and back across the precinct I would have to treck. They had obviously been celebrating some sort of fiesta recently because everywhere was decorated. The main square was lovely and clean, very cosmopolitan, with shading high above from the midday sun.

I decide that even I am not crazy enough to walk back to the ship so I go and hunt down the shuttle bus at the port gates. I hadn’t got a ticket but if you show your card and sign the sheet they put it onto your onboard account later in the day. As always, I wait for the bus to empty so that I can get mum off without disturbing any of the other passengers. Thing is then you get no flaming help at all, and I didn’t really have the energy to help myself today let alone literally lift Mum off the bus. But I got there in the end. Then I discovered the wheelchair was still in the bus hold underneath. 3 times I asked the driver for it but he wasn’t going to help. So I had to crawl in and grab it myself, then I banged my head and came out cursing and muttering some pretty bad language – but it was going to emerge at some point after the day I’d had! A passing passenger could see I was at the end of my tether so he went in and got it for me.. Now my next gripe – as Ive said before, they will assist you with a wheelchair on the gangways on here, but you need to ask, unlike other cruise lines where they just insist on doing it for you. It just makes me feel like Im being a nuisance when I have to keep asking all the time. We asked the first two security guards and they said those at the top of the gangway would come down and assist. Nobody did, so I had to ask a passenger to ask them when she got to the top for me. There is a right load of shouting and pointing between those at the top of the gangway and those at the bottom. It was all in their native tongue but I got a pretty good idea of what they were saying! Like I say, as I don’t think I look like a big beefy woman who can cope with obstacles such as big sloping gangways, I think they shouldn’t make me feel such a nuisance all the time.

I did notice something at the top of the gangway, which I thought was good. A ‘family’ was trying to go ashore. Mum, Dad and two teenage boys. But loud alarm bells rang everytime the one lads card was scanned. It was basically saying that this lad didn’t belong to these adults so he wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. They were pretty hacked off about it, because the lads parents were already ashore on a tour and had said that the lad could go to the beach with the other boy and parents. If mum or dad had let passenger relations know then it would have been ok, but as they hadn’t the lad had to stop onboard. I have to say that in this day and age I was impressed that something like that had been triggered off.

You will never guess where we had to go as soon as we were back onboard? Yes, the Promenade Café for tea!! Like I need a flaming cup of tea. Everyday mum has an inquest as to why Im not having tea! I sorted her out with a couple of ham croissants and I went straight to the bar for a cold glass of wine. Then followed the ‘you drink too much’ lecture! I need to get changed and get out on deck so off I go pushing the wheelchair again, up to the cabin. Luckily the sun s on the balcony so mum is quite happy to sit there and watch the comings and going on the dock below.

Up on deck I find a seat up top by the bar so the waiter is straight over to deliver me a frozen mango daquari. The seats around me are all empty, apart a few sunbathing books so I enjoy and hours peace, but eventually they all return and it’s a large family group who aren’t that quiet! That’s it my peace is disturbed and so I have to get up and walk a few laps of the track on deck – as if I haven’t done enough walking today!

I cant cope with this full deck of people for long so I return to do some work! Somebody is out to wind me up today as I have major IT issues and cany receive my emails! A very frustrating few hours follow, but it gets sorted in the end and all is well! I go for a little walk around and you can hardly stand up on the top deck in the wind since we left port. I went into Windjammer to get a lemon drink, but afternoon tea is in full flow. They do lay on a good spread mid afternoon, various salads and meats, lots of sandwiches and rolls, chilli and nachos – ooh I had to induldge just a little!

Because Im working I miss the 5.00pm ice show which is a shame as everyone says how good it is.

I had every intention of trying the champagne bar this evening pre dinner, but as we were passing the straights of Gibraltar I thought the room with a view – the Cosmopolitan Club would be a wiser choice. And it was a very good choice. Lovely clear views of Gibraltar one side and North Africa the other.

Im almost late for dinner as Im busy chattering to the couple beside me and then I have difficulty getting a lift to 10 decks down.

But I made it. I had a disappointing meal again tonight. I chose steak which turned out to be cold, with even colder vegetables. Poor Maria was devasted but I didn’t want another meal bringing. I hate eating after everyone else has finished and anyway Im past that point now. Gianni the head waiter obviously heard I had been served another cold meal, but what could he do other than offer to get me more? Like I say I didn’t want more food or the fuss that was being made, but at the end of the day it shouldn’t leave the kitchen that cold!

I return to the cabin after dinner to find a long crocodile on my bed – he makes me giggle! I like his chocolate eyes lol.

I head back down to decks 4 and 5 for a snoop around. Mr & Mrs is on in the Theatre, same old same old format there. Benji is doing his same act in Schooner at the piano. The casino is busy and so is the wine bar and pub in the street. Claire and Ted are in the champagne bar so that’s the place to be. We had a very nice Appletini, but it finishes me off and I need my hot chocolate and bed.

Wednesday 22nd August

Oooh its been a choppy old night not helped my the weird bouncing effect of these anzipod things underneath us! Mum has been moaning and groaning all night and my back has been killing me! So not the best nights sleep.

Mum cant get out of bed this morning. We are bobbing around a little too much for her so I order her some tea and toast while I head to windjammer.

There was a brunch being served in the main restaurant this morning and I decided to nip in after breakfast just to be nosey. Wow, what a posh brunch that is. They have really gone to town on the food displays. It really was very posh for a breakfast and it was more reminiscent of the midnight gala buffets to look at.

A little bit of wok to catch up on before we arrive in Lisbon at noon and then I headed out on top deck to watch us squeeze under April 25th bridge.

I think we have a recipe for disaster today as we have been asked to stay on ships time, whilst ashore they are an hour behind us. In all my years of cruising I have never known that before and I get quite paranoid about getting the times mixed up.

Don’t even get me started about the gangways this morning. I listened to the announcement that gangways were situated off deck 4 today or for wheelchair users you could use deck 2 aft. So in the lift and down to deck two. No sign of a gangway, and no directions pointing you the right way, but its been like that ever since we got on here so Im used to that by now. You cant help but compare to other cruiselines where you get to any stairwell and there is always arrows directing you to the gangway. So all I can see is cabins. Just one long corridor of them! So back on the stairwell I call Guest Relations and ask if I have it right? Oh yes Madam, the gangway is right there. Oh no its not! Yes it is madam its right by cabin 2XXX. No cant see it! Well its there Madam. I slammed the phone down because I really was ratty about it. Getting a lift on this ship is hard work, and if Im in the wrong place I have to start again. I decided to treck midship, and what do you know? The corridor turned to the right and there it was the flaming gangway, no hint that it was ever there. I had a rant at the gangway attendant about the lack of directions but he didn’t care less. Then to add insult to injury they made us wait while they disembarked all of the flippin tours. Not a good start. Saying we were on deck 2 the gangway was steep today, but gee whiz when I looked around at the ones coming off deck 4 I don’t know how they passed safety regs. I have never seen such steep, long high gangways and Im not so sure I fancy stepping down one.

Shuttle bus tickets were $5 per person each way today. That’s a big gripe of mine and I refused to buy them. Usually you can buy them at the shuttle bus if you don’t have them already, but today they were pushing them before we went through the terminal building and people were still buying them. Once inside the terminal building I couldn’t believe the length of the queue for the bus. It was snaking all the way through the building from the car park!!

I just went and got in a taxi, which we shared with another couple for €15. Im sure should have insisted that he use the meter because Im sure it was only €8 at Christmas time, but Im not in the mood for an argument after the hassle ive had this morning.

Mum loved the shops in Lisbon, despite the fact that she has been telling me for months that she didn’t like Lisbon. They have really cleaned this place up. They have some lovely shops here. Its easy to get about. And I love the chicken and chip place and Hard Rock Café but didn’t think Mum would appreciate it so we didn’t bother.

I jumped in a taxi back to the ship again and it was so much easier than the hassle of the shuttle buses. Nice taxi man bought us all the way back up to the terminal doors too and helped mum into her chair.

Its very hot and sunny again, but there is no lazing around on deck for me. Oh no we have to go to the Promenade Café for the compulsory tea. They have ran out of ham & cheese croissants, ran out of both pizzas and the turkey and cranberry sandwiches are dried and curled. Oh I need a glass of wine. Two senior purser staff are at the bar waiting for coffee and we get chatting about the cruise etc They do seem genuinely interested in my comments and they agree that they have far too many children onboard. Apparently they don’t cap the number of children like P&O do, and as long as parents keep booking them it doesn’t matter hat age they are. Hence why there are so many onboard.

I don’t really get much chilling out time this afternoon as im backwards and forwards with work stuff to do. But I make sure im back outside to watch us sail back under the bridge – its just one of those things you have to do isn’t it.

Its smart casual tonight, which loosley translates to informal. I decide on little black dress edged in silver beading. Well its surprising how out of place you can feel on a ship in the wrong clothes. Im only half way up the corridor and a woman comes out f her cabin in combat trousers and long cardigan and I can here her ask hubby why im dressed up. I go up to the cosmo club because I know there will be a few like minded people up there, and I would say that 20% have made the effort. Luckily Claire turns up in black sparkly top and trousers so I feel better now. Claire has used the services of Victor the ships tailor to have her trousers turned up. No charge just a tip and she had them back within 24 hrs, but he did offer to fo them the same night for her.

Dinner was ok but it was spoilt by the fact that we had warm wine. We actually had some wine left from the night before, which is unusual but it was an accumulation of reasons that lead us to have half a bottle left. The assistant waiter poured it and then left. Ooooh warm wine. Now I don’t just mean it wasn’t cold I do actuslly mean it was warm. Like it had been left on a shelf overnight in a warm kitchen, and yes this is white wine we are talking about. The assistant waiter is called over again and he doesn’t know what to do so I suggest he send the head waiter over. It is suggested that we buty another bottle and in the meantime he could get this one chilled for us!! Oh what a novel idea, NOT!!! Maria the waitress is more on the ball and removes the wine from the table and send the assistant off for a fresh bottle.

After dinner and a little wander around we take up position on our Alice in Wonderland chairs in Boleros for a nightcap and then its bedtime.

Thursday 23rd August

I pick up the phone for room service today and good old Stacey at the other end is one step ahead of me this time lol. I don’t even have to say ‘tea for two please; she just sees the cabin number and tells me its on the way LOL.

Breakfast in the Windjammer. I cant have my salmon bagel this morning, why? Because they have ran out of bagels! How does a ship miss judge the quantities of food and beverages needed so badly? I tried doing a salmon muffin but it just isn’t the same, so I didn’t really have anything.

A bit of work to catch up as we approach Vigo so I sit mum outside in the sunshine to give me chance to get done what I need to,

Vigo has really changed at the front. Last time we were here they had pulled down all of the small gift shops just as you come out of the terminal and were getting ready to build something? Now there is a great big black glass triangular building being constructed and it blocks out the view of the old town half way up the hill.

Getting off the ship this morning was a nightmare! You should have seen the gangway off deck 4. how the hell that passed the ships safety officer (presuming they have one) is beyond me. It was a gangway tied to deck 4 (they don’t use safety nets here!) leading to a scaffold tower, with another gangway coming off that!! It didn’t look safe to me! Wheelchair access gangway on deck 2 was a ramp at a very steep angle. It looked to steep to walk down let alone push a chair down. The security guard had a lad to help with wheelchairs and he said to me that as it was so steep I needed to pull back the front of the chair while the lad took the weight at the back. Absolutely no way! I was having nothing to do with it. I wasn’t able to walk down that without clinging to the side without helping with a wheel chair. I caused a right commotion when I demanded that they fetch another able bodied strong gangway assistant to help. Guest relations were called and I was blocking the gangway as I could neither move back in or go out. Eventually another assistant was sent and we were ashore. Not easy over the newly cobbled dock area. We weren’t allowed to walk around the terminal building on the flat as we have always done before, but instead we had to go into the terminal up two very steep ramps. Try as I might I just didnt have enough body strength to get me up there. Thankfully a very nice passenger man (who pushes wheelbarrows on a building sight all day) took over for me and got us up the ramps. Well as we had come up we had to go down again at the other side. What a waste of flaming time. Im so harassed by now its unreal. But huge thanks to the man who helped as I couldn’t have done it without you.

Vigo in itself was more than a challenge. I managed to get mum over to the ferry terminal building because she likes to look at the little gift shops in there, but that was rammed with day trippers and holiday makers buying tickets for the ferrys.

Out of there and across the street, which was a challenge in itself because they use steep ramps at the kerbs from the road. Mum spots the ‘lucky lucky’ men on the hill up selling bags and purses and wants to see. There is no way mum, but she is out of her chair and trying to climb the hill, but she is doing one step forward, two steps back so I have to try and cling onto an empty wheelchair that wants to go down rather than up, and support mum, and get her near to the stall holders so she can see what they have. Half way up the hill she admits defeat and trys to sit back in the chair. Eeer, I don’t think so mum. It will take me all my time to get down myself. The shell shop is our only other shopping opportunity so after a look around there I think my job is done. No! she wants to go back to the shops in the ferry terminal! One last push, Im sure I can do it!

Back at the terminal I have to get her back upstairs to come down stairs again. How the hell is that going to happen? As its so early nobody else is going the same way as me. Mum says she cant manage the steep steps so I just have to get on with it. I don’t know where I pulled the strength from, it must have just been sheer determination that got me up there. The two Spanish security guards found it highly amusing. Ignorant pigs!! Then I had to get down the other bloody side! Grrrrrrr…..

Back at the ship mum is faced with that steep gangway, but so am I for that matter and I struggle to get up even sidestepping. Thank goodness that is the last port of call, and no more gangways to negotiate!

Mums ready for lunch! Or what she really means is she wants some tea!! Fancied going to Johhny Rockets today and after a bit of persuasion mum agrees. But when we get there is closed until 2. That’s no good then. So we go back down the café, but they are out of pizza and cucumber sandwiches on here just don’t appeal, so its all the way back up to Windjammer. Im worn out just getting there. Lunch is all freshly out so we have lots of choice. That’s one thing you cant complain about the selection of choice of food in here. You should have seen the huge pie they make. It must have been 3ft across!

I just want to chill out today and catch some of the last of the sunshine. So its straight out on top deck and I just lay there. I was tempted b a long island iced tea but I knew I had work to do so I thought better of it. I settled for as frozen daquari followed by a very generous amount of southern comfort and diet coke. That’s sends me off into just a nice sleep. Well it would have been a nice sleep if mum would give me a few minutes. Before I know it she is poking me in the side to look at some woman! My fuse is getting shorter. Mum decides she wants to go back to the cabin. What a good idea. I put her back in her chair and deliver her back to her cabin.

Peace at last. Now how do I get rid of all those screaming kids on deck?

I have a deadline of 4.00pm today for sitting out in the sun, but then I know I have work to do, so back to the cabin for me.

We sailed at 4.30 and what a lovely sailaway it was to. The ship turned and we glided out effortlessly.

Mum was a on a mission to get me to take her to the shops on promenade tonight and I just wanted to get ready at leisure and take my time, check a few emails and do a bit of packing. No way! She sat and humphed her way all through my getting ready, so I had no choice but to get dressed and take her to the shops. We must have looked at everything 20 times. I was getting exasperated! I decided to go to Vintages wine bar for a drink while mum snooped around the shops. But I was shocked to find that they don’t have vast selections of wine! I asked for Sancerre? No! Poullliey Fuse (or however you spell it)? No. I looked down the list and it was the same as any other bar on the ship, just the usual pinot grigio, chardonnay etc. No Im not having any of that, and to be honest its like sitting at the edge of the shopping precinct on a busy Saturday afternoon, so I head for the champagne bar as mum doesn’t want to go to the slots or come up to Cosmopolitan club with me.. As im in the champagne bar I thought I might as well enjoy a nice drink so I order a champagne cocktail ($10) oh deary me, mum has a dickie fit!!! She went on and on about how silly I am to spend that much on a drink! Well, im on holiday and I NEED a drink! Its only 7.30 so there is no way I am going to string this out for an hour, but she is watching me – much to the amusement of another couple sitting n the next sofa. We are served some lovely hot hors deurves of chicken, meat balls, prawns etc. yes im ready for another drink, but can I catch the waiters eye to do it slighly for me? No Im not subtle enough. Ooooh she is looking at me funny now! I had another champagne cocktail too just to give her something to twine on about. All good fun.

Dinner is at 8.30. I find it very amusing that we weren’t offered the wine list this evening, but I don’t think any of us were that bothered. I had a nice beef stir fry but the rest of the meal was a little uninspirational.

We had another song from the waiters on the stairs tonight, always enjoyable as the waiters seem to have such fun doing it.

I decide to go back to the cabin, while mum goes to the slots, so that I can catch up with some of the things I couldn’t do earlier. No such luck. Mum tags a long too. Ooooh, exciting, we have got a towel monkey hanging from the curtans tonight. He makes me smile! Im trying hard to concentrate and type but you just cant. Mum gets into bed and I go off for a wander around the ship to see whats happening. There is a ‘80’s Party’ in Studio B which doesn’t have 80’s music! The bars and street is rammed. Benji his doing his usual in the Schooner bar and that’s about it.

Midnight Gala buffet tonight, so I decide that I might as well joint the ever increasing queue to go in for the photo opportunity. Wow!! Very impressive. The smell of food was turning my stomach though soi took my photos and got out of there.

Drinks with ted and Claire back in the champagne bar finish off the evening nicely, before I go for my hot chocolate and bed!

Friday 24th August

Mum has been up al night muttering and walking around slamming draws and generally dong anything to make sure I don’t sleep! Im awake pretty early but I have to smile when she is still asleep at 8.45, she is going to panic when she realises lol. And she does. She panicked so much she thinks we should get up and go to breakfast without calling for tea!! No, I need to speak to Stacey in room service or my day wont be complete. I ordered toast and croissants too, so now mum doesn’t have to go anywhere!

She is already mythering about packing, going home clothes, tips oooh its going to be a trying day I can tell!

Eventually I get mum out of the cabin and toddling round the shops on deck 5, so I return to do all the packing. It doesn’t take me long and I manage to get 90% of it done before I have to go off and do some work.

I head for my usual spot in Cloud Nine on deck 14 but there is some sort of colouring competition going on in there so its back down to deck 5 where I find Mum sitting people watching in the champagne bar. Fortunately mum is sat next to a plug socket so I can set up my booking system and book a few cruises that P&O decided to put on sale today.

We decide to have lunch in the Nutcracker Restaurant today. What no Café Promenade LOL! Oh its lovely in the lower tier of the restaurant. They only actually serve lunch in any of the main restaurants during sea days, so there hasn’t been that many opportunities to dine here. I have to say it was one of the best meals we have had. We had a nice table for two. Mum had a steak sandwich and I had chilli chicken bruchetta. Both were absolutely delicious! I have to say though that my glass of chardonnay was warm ,but I couldn’t be doing with the hassle of sending it back. It was very pleasant just to sit and relax and just be waited on. Me and Mum reflected on our cruise and she was a little worried that she had been a burden to me, but she hadn’t really been. I had done what I set out to do and she has really enjoyed her cruise so that is the only thing that is important.

It looks nice out so we head up to top deck. Plenty of people are out there sunbathing but you need to find a spot out of the chilly wind. Its too cold for mum so we head back to the cabin. The bay of Biscay has been a dream both ways this cruise and you wouldn’t have known you were in it.

OMG! How much stressing can one person do about the packing. Ive only left her her own hand luggage to sort out and you would think I have left her the whole wardrobe to pack. Ive never heard so much huffing and puffing! In the end I just tell her to get in bed and have a rest. While I get on with a bit more work. I get done whats needed doing and I creep out to get a drink on deck.

Me and Denise are reflecting on our cruise now and Denise is really sad to be going home. She has turned a corner during the second week and has got into the RCI way of doing things.

I had a lovely southern comfort and diet coke out on deck and then it was back to face the cabin and the rest of the packing.

Mum is awake and shouting out for tea! Then I spot what she has been up to in my absence! She has turfed her entire case out looking for something. Not something she wanted, just something she wanted to know where it was! Apparently she didn’t even bring the thing with her that she was looking for! Give me strength!!! Why oh why couldn’t she wait until I got back and she could ask me where it was? What was once neat packing is now rammed in mess.

I thought the tea man was going to get it in the neck because he took 40 minutes to bring the tea today, but she was calm. I had to laugh, because he went to great lengths to apologies because they have ran out of carton milk until we get to Southampton – that’s something else they have ran out of then! We had a little spot of long life stuff delivered in a glass – yuk!

I cant wait to get out of the cabin tonight because Mum keeps nagging about putting the cases out. She is not the slightest bit happy that I have no intention of putting her case out until after she goes to bed. They aren’t moving any of the cases and the paperwork states they will be doing it a t midnight, so whats the rush?

I cant face the thought of going down to deck 5 with Mum to sit and people watch, so I convince her we should go up to my usual haunt of the Cosmopolitan Club. We get a nice table by the window overlooking the pool and mum is happy to sit and watch the crew scrubbing the decks and cleaning the pools. Its not very busy up here tonight, everyone must be packing. Mum tried to order a pineapple juice, they have ran out!! Can of tinic water? Ran out! I already knew they were out of pina colada so no point getting her one of those. Basically the waiter said he only had cranberry juice, so she had to settle for one of them. I ordered a cosmo and off he went. Later he returned with mums cranberry, but he had forgotten what I wanted!!! Give me strength! Somebody is trying my patience today.

Our last dinner in the restaurant. Sadly I didn’t enjoy it. I opted for the Cock-a-leakie soup – that was like a bowl of neat salt, Yuk! And then I had a pork and prawn noodle dish, but it was barely warm again. The grilled prawns were in a semi state of almost warmed up but not, so I had to leave it. Maria the waitress would have been mortified if she had realised I had left both courses, but Gianni the head waiter cleared both courses for her as she was busy and he never batted an eyelid! Our wine had been poured when we first ordered, but nothing was forthcoming ever since so I had to ask for it? Not the sort of service Im used to.

Mum was keen to get to bed. More so because she wanted to see that case go out of the door. Up on deck 8 as we walked to the cabin it was a hive of activity. Cabin doors wedged open. Cases being hurriedly packed. Kids being shouted at lol. No cases at all had been moved from the corridor. Mum got ready fro bed but then supervised while I put her last few things in the case and put the lock on the case. Oooh she needs to chill out! Now she is mythering about my case!!! Im not putting that out until I get back later. Now I know that’s going to keep her awake.

I have to get out of the cabin, I need a drink ….little did I know what a challenge that would be this evening.

I met up with Ted and Claire in Boleros for a drink and I knew I wanted a Mojhito. Waiter tells me I cant have one as they are out of mint! I decide to have one of those beginning with ‘G’ then and point to the strange word, no sorry we’re out of lime. How about the other one beginning with g then? No sorry madam. Tell you what then what can I have off your speciality cocktail menu? Eeeerm nothing Madam, our entire stock has gone!! Not good for a cruise ship to mis judge supplies so badly is it? Claire knew what she wanted, a Blue Lagoon. Yes, you’ve guessed it, they have ran out of Blue Curacao. We didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this point, so decided all we could do was laugh. We just told him to bring us whatever he had, and basically that what we got! Two large bright green drinks – probably just the dregs of all the remains behind the bar. Oh you have to laugh, but really its not funny.

The dining waiters appear with trays of small savoury bread rolls and little cakes. Dipped strawberries and baby lemon meringues are delicious. The band are good in here, if a little lively, but the crowd are enjoying a little salsa etc.

Everywhere is very busy, but I just want my bed. Im going home to Mr C tomorrow – hoorah!

I head off for my last hot chocolate and go sit up on deck 6 overlooking the still busy promenade. Kids are still riding the lifts, shouting from the balconies and security just greats the kids and high fives them! Maybe they have given up?

Back at the cabin mums still awake. I knew she wouldn’t rest until I was in and my case was out. I can see she has had every cupboard and draw open looking for anything I might have forgotten. She makes sure I put that case out before she will even consider closing her eyes.

Saturday 25th August

I wake up and its dark and I can feels the bow thrusters or anzipod things doing something. I peak out of the window and realise we are spinning in the basin at Southampton. A few minutes later I look again and we are gliding past the Solent grain mills, that’s good enough for me. Im up and out of bed, in the shower dressed and ready to go!! it takes mum a while to stir and shes not the happiest of bunnys when I tell her she cant have any room service cup of tea. I watch the luggage being unloaded from the balcony, I have never seen it done in such a way before. They are edging a forklift up to the dock edge (very carefully,) reaching across the open water with no safety net below, then reaching un to take an open cage full of cases off the ship over the open water! What a recipe for disaster that is!! Mum is very slow to get going so when she finally gets ready I put her in her wheelchair and wheel her up to windjammer for breakfast.

Happy Happy goodmorning Smiley sanitize your hands man is on full form this morning. Bless him he has been so happy all cruise and made sure everyone who entered the Windjammer sanitised their hands. I see lots of people give him a tip and its very well deserved to.

I park mum up at a table and fetch the breakfast for her. 20 minutes later I have her back on the way to the cabin to fetch the hand luggage. She still insists on checking all of the draws and cupboards. Outside I hear an almighty cheer from the dockside. I rushed out onto the balcony to see a load of dockworkers looking into the sea. One of the cases had been loaded to high on the cage and slipped over the edge into the sea. They just waited for it to float up and then the hooked it ou. I made dam sure that wasn’t mine because if it had of been I would have been straight down there to strangle someone!!!

We are down in Boleros by 7.00am for the wheelchair assisted disembarkation. I have to leave her there while I go back to collect the rest of the hand luggage from the cabin and say goodbye to Brian and Oliver.

At 7.25 we were met by our assigned wheelchair assistant and we were escorted ashore. He went with us through baggage claim. I got a porter and both went with us all the way to the car park. The porter kindly loaded the car for me and I was on my way by 8.00am. Excellent we missed all of the bank holiday traffic and I was back at mums house by 9.40 met by Mr C.

So there it all is. My first Royal Caribbean experience for about 10 years. I think its fair to say that it would be my own personal choice of cruise line to sail with again. But it is a fantastic product, if you like that sort of thing.

Mum has loved every single minute of it. There has been so much for her to take in. She could never have imagined that cruising would evolve to such a level. Mum did her first cruise in 1956 on the old, old Arcadia. Now she was on one of the largest and most upto date cruise ships in the world. She thought it was all truly amazing.

To me it wasn’t a cruise. As I have said it was a holiday full of holiday makers not a cruise full of cruise passengers.

I found the amount of people onboard way to much for me. The fact that everyone was centralised in the same spot surrounding the two main pools didn’t help. If it had slightly better layout with a kids/teens pool at the back of the ship and main deck area reserved for adults it would have been fine. But the adults only pool was small, very sheltered and had approximately 30 loungers around the pool in the sun. to try and get on of these prime position seats was near on impossible.

I never in my wildest dreams expected to see so many children onboard. 1100 kids is a third of the entire ships capacity. Apparently RCI don’t cap the number of kids they take onboard like some other cruise lines do. If parents keep booking them they will keep taking them onboard. The Captain read the ‘guest conduct’ policy most days asking parents to ensure that kids were under control and out of public areas by 1.00am but nobody took a blind bit of notice. They need to get a lot tougher with the kids and their parents and start to make examples of some of them to ensure that others keep in check. They have no consideration for other passengers onboard.

Getting a lift on this ship was a nightmare. Nine times out of 10 that was due to the amount of kids riding the lifts, racing each other in other lifts or racing those on foot. Kids thought nothing of getting in a lift to go down one floor. The amounts of times I stood and waited for lift only to find the door open, the lift full and nobody offering to take the stairs to allow a wheelchair in was so annoying.

Sometimes I could wait what seemed like an eternity for a lift. And getting a lift just before dinner was almost impossible.

I found it very strange that a ship of that size was only designed with only two stairwells. Not really something I would have thought about before. Unfortunately we were allocated a cabin at the aft of deck 8. this want a problem to me but I hadn’t really appreciated how tiring it was for mum to walk from the cabin to a lift. It was a very long walk for her, probably the equivalent of walking from aft to midship on say Oriana, which is a long way if you are not that good on your feet.

Wheelchair assistance at ports wasn’t great. I always felt I was being a nuisance if I asked for someone to push mum up or down a gangway or even on the tender. More often than not they would offer assistance in the the form of one security guard and I was expected to assist also. Fine if the gangways were at a reasonable pitch but at the stupid angles they had then at there was no way I was risking it. Mum in a wheel chair is hard enough to handle at the best of times.

Some of the gangways set up at the ports were pretty horrific looking and I did wonder if they would have passed the high safety levels that are enforced on British cruise ships. I never saw safety nets under any of the gangways. The passenger gangwats in Lisbon were ridicualous. Huge greatlong steep gangways leading all the way from a very high promenade deck down to the dockside. And I don’t think I will ever forget the scaffold tower erection they made in Vigo. One gangway off the ship to a scaffold tower and another gangway off that!

Shuttle bus charges were another of my gripes. Most ports were either $4.25 or $5 per person each way. The drop off points weren’t always that well located either. There was only Cagliari where there was a shuttle suitable for mum in the wheelchair and the rest of the buses were pretty in accessible for mum. Help to get her onboard was never very forthcoming. In Livorno we had to ride on the crew bus as it was a little lower, but they still took our tickets even though it was free fro crew. Cant help feeling there is some sort of money making scheme going on there. You needed to buy shuttle bus tickets before boarding the ship, but most of the time you could buy at the bus if you needed to. In Lisbon the RCI staff had set up a bus ticket buying station just before you went through the terminal building sayng there were few taxis etc. I knew there would be taxis and they were cheaper and more convenient than taking the shuttle bus. Noty only that but the shuttle bus queue was snaking through the terminal.

I went to a couple of shows. The American Drifters were excellent despite a slow start and I would have gone to see them again but they disembarked the next morning. I went to see the Once Upon a Time show which I had been told was one of the best shows at sea. And yes it was good but, doesn’t really compare to those I seen on QM2 2 weeks previously. I stuck my head in various other shows but none left me riveted to the spot. But I confess that Im not a ‘show’ person, so Im not the best person to pass judgement on shows onboard.

We did go to the first weeks ice show which was superb. I strongly recommend anyone to go and get tickets for the live dance shows. I didn’t make it to the show the second week as the timing wasn’t very convenient, but I heard that was equally as good.

I found the daily news sheets a little hard to follow. Maybe I didn’t get to study them enough as mum usually had them in her handbag as soon as they arrived. It just seemed to have info all over the place. And I hated that fact that each one was titled ‘Day 2, Day 3 Day 13 etc’ I don’t want to know that 12 or 13 days of my holiday have passed and just a plain old simple Wednesday would do fine!

The announcements were dam annoying. Bing Bong! It was like Hi di flaming Hi at times. Now Bingo Spice …. Ohh that was an annoying announcement! And the noon announcement was always at 11.50, whats all that about? And the Captain always started by saying Good afternoon?!! Huh? Just like hi swelcome onboard speech he was just a facts and figures man, never anything really interest ting to say. The crusie Director always had his little daily sales pitch. As did the Royal Caribbean shopping lady, the arts director, the shuttle bus ticket seller and anyone else who wanted their 5 minutes of fame on the tannoy.

Service onboard I cannot fault. Everywhere I went I was Miss Jane. Drinks service was excellent (when they had the drink you wanted, but don’t get me started on that again) Maria our table waitress was so lovely and worked far to hard while her assistant seemed to do nothing but bring the basket of bread rolls around and the tea and coffee when he could remember. Maria made a terrible fuss of my Mum and she always had time to talk to her despite her having a table for 14 and two tables of 4 to serve. Oliver our Stateroom attendant was very good. Always happy, spot on with his cleaning of the room etc and always in and out by the time I got back from breakfast (probably because no other idiot was up at the time I was forced out of the cabin) Brian serviced the rooms about 3 doors away and he was great. He often took mum in her wheelchair to the end of the corridor for me. Whenever he heard me come out of the cabin he always appeared to pay a compliment and wish us a good evening. Reception staff where always cheerful and helpful. Windjammer staff would assist mum and carry her tray for her selecting whatever food she wanted. They were always on hand to bring tea, coffee, jusice or squash to the tables during the meal.

Food and drink, well not the best I have to say. Food in Windjammer was excellent. Plenty of choice, so much choice you didn’t really know what to go for. Although I do hate having to eat from plastic plates and drink from plastic mugs. Its not as if the windjammer was adjacent directly to open decks, so see no reason why grown up people cannot be given proper plates and cups etc.

We didn’t use either Portifino or Chops Grill. Probably would have done if I had been with Mr C. I was a bit concerned about the general position of them just off the Windjammer. They were also fairly open plan to the side with just a glass screen so I did wonder if you would get noise from those using the Windjammer to eat in at night?

We loved Johnny Rockets. Mum had never been anywhere like that in her life so she found that very entertaining. Food and service was excellent.

One of Mums favourite daily haunts was the Promenade Café and I have to say I preferred a light lunch in here, with a glass of wine from the bar. They always had Pizza, although you had to be fast off your chair for that as they cooked one at a time and the kids would race in and take 4 slices each! They always had ham and cheese croissants which were always nice and fresh, and then there was a daily special sandwich and a daily filled roll, plus there was always a hot savoury like beef pastie etc. There was a good selection of cakes and pastrys, plus all of the cookies, oh and endless supplies of Tea!!!

Food in the restaurant was a disappointment. Considering dining on a cruise ship is quite a large element of anyones cruise experience I thought they were lacking in this department. Food was mass produced and in my opinion poorly presented a lot of the time. The meat was usually good and tender but didn’t even come close to what I experienced on QM2 a couple of weeks previous. It was all very bland. I hate barely warm food and that was what I got most nights. 3 of my meals were stone cold and I do mean stone cold. On the first occasion I asked for something different but once it arrives everyone else has finished eating and you simply cant enjoy it. The second time I refused a replacement meal and the third time nobody bothered to ask! The thing is I shouldn’t have experienced any of that in the first place.

Tips – you can either pre pay via your agent at time of booking or they will be taken automatically off your onboard account at the end of the cruise and you will be issued with Vouchers to be placed in envelopes and issued to the relevant people. Automatic amounts are Dining room steward $3.50 pp per night, Assistant dining steward $2pp per night, Stateroom attendant $3.50 pp per night, Head waiter $0.75pp per night. I think that equated to $13700 for both me and mum. After some discussion we decided, to have our tips removed as we felt the assistant waiter and head waiter had done diddly squat for us! We placed USD in the stateroom attendants envelope and USD in Marias envelope and gave them to them personally.

I couldn’t believe how many things the F&B department had ran out of for the second week. I loved the strawberry daiquiris but they were unavailable after a few days. Mango daiquiri was the same as were a couple of the others. You could get a lava flow cocktail during the second week as that was out of ingredients. They had no pina colada mix or pineapple juice for pina coladas. No Blue Curacao for Blue lagoons. And no ingredients at all for one of the bars speciality drinks list. No bagels for the salmon at breakfast. No milk cartons for the tea. Like I say I don’t know how they miss judged it so badly for a two weeks cruise? Its not as if they are new to this. And why didn’t they get some emergency supplies at one of the ports? Surely they have a contingency plan under these circumstances?

One drink I defiantly recommend you try an Navigator is a Storong Island Iced tea – only the stupid should try this! Needless to say both Denise and I thought they were great lol.The long island iced teas were great and had a kick to them like no others I have tried, but ond day when I was particularly stressed out I told the waiter to bring me something good. I got a strong island iced tea which is basically a long island without the coke! And its served in a pint pot!! I found it was a great way to blott out the entire surrounding of the main pool deck and deck above (which I hated so much because we were packed in like sardines) it was a challenge to try and rink it all before you drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep!

Dress code was a big issue with me. I was expecting formal nights but what RCI don’t make clear is if you don’t want to bother than don’t. To me formal is formal unless they point it out to me before hand to say its not. I was very disappointed that they didn’t uphold the dress code in the restaurant and the main bars. I felt very overdressed and almost uncomfortable on some occasions and got some very strange looks from others that thought casual meant ‘don’t bother getting changed this evening’

All in all it was a very different cruise experience for me. It may have been 100 times different if I was travelling with Mr C. I would have been able to wander off with him to try and find a more secluded spot on deck away from the maddening crowd (although im not so sure those places existed!) But travelling with an 85 year old isn’t the easiest of things to do, you need the patience of a saint and I confess im not the most patient of people, plus I was trying to continue to work whilst away which poses its own different set of obstacles. Most people travelling onboard were in large groups and parties and even I found that a little intimidating at times. Im usually quite confident and happy to go and sit at a bar on a ship alone but I felt as if some of the other people in the room were staring at me like I was some sort of freak at times when Im sat there all alone, minding my own business. So I wouldn’t recommend it for singles.

The Royal Pronmenade is a great feature, but it did remind me of a busy Saturday afternoon at a shopping centre at some of its more busier times. It could get pretty busy down there. I didn’t like the Two Poets pub, it overflowed into the street most nights, and it smelt of smoke and was dark and dingy. Vintages wine bar disappointed me with the lack of wine selection. Maybe I missed something and you had to buy bottles? I don’t know, but the waitress who served me should have been more on the ball if that was the case because I don’t have a problem with buying a bottle. Ixtapa Bar really did remind me of some holiday camp type lounge that I had been in about 30 years ago. Maybe because it was always full of little kids running around everytime I went in there. The Metropolis Theatre was huge. Excellent sights all round and I liked the fact that you could have a drink during a show. Schooner bar is a Royal Caribbean signature bar, more or less the same as other ships, again a bit too smokey most of the time. Benji was excellent at the piano but once you had seen him once there was little incentive to return because his act hardly seemed to change. Casino Bar – people did sit in her but how they put up with the noise and flashing lights is beyond me. Boleros, I really liked this bar but it was always well used and hard to get a seat away from smokers. Champagne Bar, this place fascinated mum with its curved seats with bubbling bottles set into the backs. I thought it lacked atmosphere,m but I have never been a lover of open plan bars. The did serve lovely Martini cocktails and champagne cocktails though and the canapés were very nice touch. The Dungeon was excellent. Like the wa that RCI often split the nightclub over two levels but it appeared to be very under used this cruise, unless it livened up after I had gone to bed? But I did stick my head in there most nights. Cosmopolitan Club had to be my favourite bar, Rosylyn behind the bar was lovely. The waiters used to amuse me up here. They were obviously on commission for sales and some of them would try and work with team mates and work a separate area of the room to be fair to each other. One little guy though, had different ideas and he was out for all the sales he could get. He would often wait by the lift when it was quiet, escort people to a table and get the order before anyone else got to them. You could see the other lads didn’t approve of this and they often gave him stick over it but he didn’t care, he was at sea to make money! Deck bar service was good and even if I went up to one of the busy deck bars I was always served quickly.

If you want a ship that is great for the kids, where you don’t have to worry about whether the kids are annoying fellow passengers or not (many of the parents on this cruise seemed to give a dam) if you want a ship where there is loads going on 24/7, with loads of quirky things like inline skating, ice skating, rock climbing, streets with bars and shops and nightly carnival parades,singing and dancing waiters, towel animals appearing on your bed etc etc give Royal Caribbean a try.

But if it’s a traditional cruise you prefer then maybe its not the right choice.

The passenger profile was an interesting one this cruise. I witnessed some sights that Im not even going to mention, but if you like people watching there is never really a dull moment. I may have concentrated too much on all the negatives about this trip, but they are what have perhaps influenced me the most.

As I have already said a few times, this ship blew Mum away, but she wants totally different things from a cruise to me these days. As Denise has said, put the ship in a different time and place and it might all work like perfect clockwork. The Caribbean with plenty of port days would suit both the laid back dress code and eliviate the amount of pressure put on the precious deck space. Im not a big foodie type of person, but at the same time I cant excuse cold food. Dining is a major part of anyones cruise experience.

I have returned home feeling more like I have been ‘away’ rather than on a cruise, which is a little strange. IF that had been my one annual holiday for the year I wouldnt have been happy, but Im a lucky lucky girl and still have 5 more cruises to enjoy this year as well as the ones Ive already taken, so I can afford to be over critical.

Don’t let my views put you off. We all like different things and all expect different things from a cruise and if you ever have any questions you can always contact me and i’ll be more than happy to help you

If you’d like to see more of my photos you can see the whole set from my time on Navigator of the seas here